Catching the Right Valentine
Catching the right Valentines can be harder than one thinks. To catch the perfect Valentine, means you are looking for someone to stick around for the rest of the Valentines you ever celebrate. If you are looking for the perfect Valentine but just for tonight, that is a different blog, but feel free to request that one if you want it. Let’s jump in!
When Michelle and I First Met
Funny because I just finished a movie called, When We First Met, starring Adam Devine, Alexandra Daddario, and Shelly Hennig and it was just released on Netflix!
Now, when Michelle and I first met, I was running clubs in Los Angeles. To be specific, I had a promotions company and we ran the ever famous club, Les Deux, on Saturday nights. As a club promoter, the cards were already stacked against me, as club promoters are notorious for having a few too many Valentines, shall we say. In the introduction to Michelle, we were told that we should talk because we were both from Louisiana. I thought she was a complete hottie tottie, but I kept my cards close to my chest. First rule about Valentines club is don’t talk about Valentines club… kidding.
- Rule one when meeting someone you like, don’t go overboard with compliments and crazy talk. Don’t be aggressive, handsy, or overly sexual (again, different rules for a one-nighter 😉 ).
- Michelle and I had a few short conversations that night but I didn’t devote my time towards her. If I remember correctly, I may have let her catch me looking at her once just so she knew there was interest. And don’t be fooled, intentions go along way. What you don’t say can be just as powerful.
- If you are looking for a woman to spend your life with, show her the respect you would expect to show your wife. Women also observe how you treat your mother, by the way. How we treat our mother and the other women in our lives are a great way to see how we will be treating our own wives. If you have great respect for your Mom, hopefully, she taught you well enough to respect all women.
- Seems like a no-brainer, and may refer back to rule one, but be respectful across the board. Treat her and her friends the same.
You can totally get a girl without being respectful; but I promise, in the long run, the relationship that starts with disrespect will probably allow the disrespect to rise later in the relationship.
Buying Gifts
When buying gifts, please take into account how long you guys have been together. I don’t care if you are loaded, if you buy a girl a ring in the first few weeks you are dating that is weird, a red flag, or it means you are trying way to hard.
Ps. Just because the woman takes your gift, doesn’t mean it was the right gift.
4. When buying a gift you should either: 1 – know her well enough to know what she likes, or 2 – do some research to figure out what it is that she likes. And, I promise, the more obscure and thoughtful it is, the better. I mean, if for some reason you stalked her facebook and realized she had a thing for My little pony! Then… Here. Hook her up!
Overall, when it comes to gifts, be thoughtful and take into consideration how long you guys have been together. For instance, when Michelle and I first started dating, this wasn’t on Valentines, this was just because, I showed up at her house, after being persistent, not pushy! Persistency is key without the pushy as this lets her know you are seriously interested. She may not be playing hard to get, she may just want a guy that isn’t just after her underpants 😉
Anyway, I brought her cookies from Subway because I knew they were her favorite at the time. You can even go as far as bringing her dog a treat, as well, if she has a dog. Key to a doggy mom’s heart is through making friends with the K-9. Luckily, Roxie was on my side when I first met her.
My last and final tip
I don’t subscribe to the “love at first sight” thing. I believe we all have a few personalities and partners that we could live happily with, but I do think it depends on timing. I am not saying everyone is right for each other, as personalities make a huge difference. However, it isn’t always the people with the most in common that make happy couples. Love at first sight is a long version of the word LUST. C’mon, you know it’s true. I know people have ended up with that person that they fell for right off the bat, but that doesn’t change that the first interest was “DAMN BOO!” Michelle and I never rushed into anything. Love, to me, consistently grows as you learn to understand each other more and you grow together and constantly change.
Change
5. Don’t be afraid of change. We are not bodies with a soul, but souls with a body. With that being said, our thoughts, our feelings, and our interests will consistently change as we grow older together and, at some level, my love is with Michelle’s soul and essence. Her commitment to loving me and supporting me in all that I do doesn’t hurt. Know that change is ok, and it is inevitable.
1 tip to be UN-happy forever!
Start dating someone you think you can make into the person you want to spend your life with.
I know it seems fun to try to change someone; but, that someone has to want to make changes or else you are doomed to consistently cycle through the same situation with men or women. You will choose the same type of person over and over and the relationship will eventually fail because you are still in the mind frame that you have to change someone to be perfect for you.
If you would like to talk about relationships or get a different point of view on how to approach the dating world, feel free to drop me a line or book a private consultation.
Written by: Dean West